Valentine’s Day this year is going to be interesting. Am I right? We’ve all sort of made it through the quarantine . . . but have we made it with our relationships? The pandemic has put a lot of stress on our relationships and couples counseling is seeing a huge increase in business. Sadly, being thrown together for unending periods of time has been detrimental to many relationships. So if you feel like your relationship needs a little check-up, check out these quotes that can help heal and redirect your love life.

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” — Henry James

Okay, so this is stuff we learned in kindergarten. Be nice. Play nice. Share. Take turns. Etc. Etc. But in a relationship, why is that so hard? Your partner has an especially stressful day and takes it out on you. We’ve all been there. Do you call them on it? (Maybe.) Do you snap back? (Most likely.) Or – do you react with kindness and understanding? Much harder to do, but actually healthier in the long run. Am I suggesting you be a doormat every time your partner wants to use you as a verbal punching bag? Absolutely not. Am I suggesting that we’re all under a lot of stress and sometimes we need a break and a little kindness – YES. If you feel like your partner might be overstepping into the toxic zone, remember couples counseling can be the perfect Valentines gift, if given tactfully and without shaming. 

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” – Donald Miller

Now we’re getting to the core issue. Don’t we all wish we had the perfect partner? Kind of sucks sometimes when our partner has faults, huh? Sure, we have imperfections, but they’re tiny, right?  Why are we so easy on ourselves when it comes to imperfections and so hard on our partner for theirs? Maybe a little compassion and understanding and okay, tolerance is needed if we’re going to have a successful relationship these days. And we liked our partner well enough in the beginning. It’s not hard to like them again. It’s where do we focus our attention? Do we focus on missteps and faults or do we focus on our partners’ amazing qualities that had us falling in love to begin with?

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.” – Leo F. Buscaglia

Now this last quote is kind of perfect. Don’t we all just want to be loved for who we are? No facades. No lies. Just our true selves. And if you feel like you can’t be completely yourself in your relationship … again, couples counseling is a great idea. Maybe working on communication is all you need? I’ve always told my kids that being your true self is the bravest thing you’ll ever do. And when you can be your true self in your relationship with your partner? That’s pretty much heaven. Be kind, my friends and be brave. Loving and being loved is the most important thing we’ll ever do, so lets make our relationships a priority and do the work.